How do we see other people’s pain if we can’t/won’t see our own?
Trauma comes in many forms, many we may not even consider. I’m pretty sure there was a time in my life where I would‘ve read the 1st post and been completely baffled, cos I’d never learnt the correlation/causality. I might’ve 🙄 n said “Pfft. Excuses.”, maybe cos I was often taught that trying to articulate the relationship btwn my thoughts and my actions was the same thing as giving excuses and tt the bigger lesson was tt I had to learn how to “take responsibility for my actions”, barrel through. I may have said to someone sharing their story with me “But how can you blame them for tt?” Judging, dismissing, not listening. And I was probably well-intentioned and doing the best with the information tt I had, but I was still inflicting hurt, the same hurt that was done to me, but hurt nonetheless.
We pass on the wounds we don’t heal, something I’ve only started to recognise in the past few years. The adults in our lives when we were children probably had wounds they hadn’t healed, as did the adults in theirs.
Creating safety. It’s not being dramatic to say tt people die cos they are LGBTQIA, pple die cos they’re women, cos they’re black, or brown, or yellow, cos people “don’t agree” they can be “real men” or “real women”, the list goes on...
.
Pple die simply cos of who they are and other pple don’t like it. They die cos the systems tt are supposed to be protecting them, are not. Bcos so many of us dont know how/don’t want to listen to what they are saying, and actively barrel through their boundaries because we decide that they’re being “too sensitive”.
When groups of people share the correlation/causality they’ve identified, we, individually, on our own time, need to get to a place where we can listen, because lives are at stake. It is their right to demand safety. It is a wrong that they are not afforded it. When we invalidate people based on our own personal experiences, it reaallly fucks over the pple in any of these groups who have clear, shared, lived experiences.💔
I’m hopeful that, as a whole, as a society, we are getting better at listening to ourselves and those around us. ♥️🙌
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