【新來的鄰居】孩子之間
最近社區搬來了一戶印度鄰居,剛好他們家旁邊是一塊車比較少的空地,孩子們都喜歡聚集在空地上玩。第一次見到他們家的五歲男孩,他就滔滔不絕一直跟我聊天,非常渴望跟我家的姊姊和弟弟玩。由於姊姊比較慢熱,所以好幾次都沒有跟男孩玩,一直拉著我跟她到旁邊玩,我也跟她說沒關係,等她準備好再加入他們。弟弟倒是一點也不怕生,即使男孩踢球踢得很用力、腳踏車騎得超快,他絲毫不畏懼,一直很主動的找男孩玩。今天,姊姊終於完全放開心房,加入他們一起玩得不亦樂乎,要回家了還意猶未盡。我忍不住幫他們照了張照片,覺得好美。
記得第一次帶孩子跟男孩玩,他的爸爸和爺爺在一旁非常的緊張,深怕他太粗魯弄傷弟弟,於是一直在旁喊叫提醒他,每次弟弟一跌倒,爺爺都衝得比我快,想去扶起弟弟(我通常都是叫小孩自己站起來😳)。他們的對話大概是這樣的:
爺爺:Slow! Slow! Baby! Baby!
爸爸:No! No! You kicked too high. You gonna hit baby!
男孩:But...I..
爸爸:No! Don't kick it that way!
男孩:But that's how we play soccer. That's how we play! (此時弟弟過去想拿走男孩手中的球)
爸爸:Give it to Curtis. Give it to him.
男孩:No~this is my ball.
爸爸:You have to share.
男孩:Fine! I don't want to play. (丟下球走掉)
我觀察到男孩眼裡一開始興奮的火光,因為大人的負向語言而漸漸黯淡。我在旁邊其實很感謝新鄰居這麼替我們著想(他們真的是很好的鄰居),我感受到這位爸爸真的很愛男孩,很想要他成為一個替人著想的孩子,但同時也心疼男孩一百遍。不過我也不好干涉他們的對話🤐,只好在旁邊深呼吸。這短短的對話裡,有幾個值得思考的地方。
1️⃣負向語言:好多語句的開頭都是No,然後後面接著否定句、命令句。
如果將負向語言轉變成正向語言,先同理孩子真的很想要按照平常的方式踢球,然後解釋一下有年齡較小的孩子,所以輕輕的踢球能確保年幼的孩子不受傷。如此一來,孩子的感受應該會非常的不一樣。
2️⃣大的要讓小的:沒有合理的原因,就是要把球讓給小弟弟。
其實大的不需要讓小的,孩子的物品就是屬於他自己,要不要給別人也應該由他決定。他有權利拒絕,也有權利同意。
3️⃣強迫分享:當孩子不想分享的時候,強迫孩子分享。
蒙特梭利一直都不主張成人叫小孩要分享,因為分享是發自於內心主動的給予才叫分享,他們也需要透過觀察其他人的行為,來慢慢學到「分享」這件事。我們更多會使用「輪流」、「借」來代替分享兩個字,因為輪流和借,表示物品還會回到孩子手上的,並不是分享出去了,好像就永遠失去了。
在那之後,每當他們一起玩的時候,有適當的機會我就會跟男孩說:「你踢足球真的踢得很高、很遠,你一定做了很多的練習吧!」然後他就會眼裡發光,跟我說:「Yes! I'm very good at soccer! I'm a big kid!」。一起玩了幾次後,男孩對於弟弟的動作越來越溫柔,看到弟弟哭的時候,也會主動把球給弟弟,孩子的心是柔軟的,也懂得疼愛比自己更小的孩子。其實我本來心裡的盤算是,等到他踢球真的打到弟弟,弟弟哭的時候,讓他看到自然的後果,因而習得要輕輕踢球,但是被他的爸爸攔截了😆。
還有,今天很熱,傍晚的時候開始有點轉涼,男孩的阿嬤拿出羽絨衣要叫他穿,但是因為孩子們一直跑來跑去滿身大汗,我就跟阿嬤說,我們很冷我們需要穿外套,但是他們一直在跑其實很熱,阿嬤笑了笑說:「對他們一直在跑」,然後把外套放回去。原來有一種冷是阿嬤覺得你冷,沒有國界。
——————————————————
正向教養輕鬆聊Clubhouse ,本週邀請到詹宇夫妻,一起來聊聊在家蒙特梭利。
台灣時間 :6/3 下午1:00
美西時間:6/2晚上10:00
https://www.clubhouse.com/event/m2oDLvb6
#人際關係
#人際互動
#朋友
同時也有179部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過39萬的網紅sidekickzer,也在其Youtube影片中提到,#shorts Insane Power kick football technique การเตะบอลให้แรงจนมือโกลไม่กล้ารับ #sidekickzer...
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[實事英文] Peace in War 戰地裡的和平
Empathy, understanding, and open communication are the keys to peace. Do not let hate cloud your judgment and conscience.
同理,理解和開放的溝通是實現和平的關鍵。不要讓仇恨迷惑你的判斷和良知。
1. empathy 同理心
2. keys to peace 和平的關鍵
3. cloud your judgement 迷惑你的判斷
Short video: https://youtu.be/6KHoVBK2EVE
★★★★★★★★★★★★
The First World War began in Europe and then spread to other regions from July 28, 1914 to November 11, 1918. On August 3, 1914, the United Kingdom declared war on Germany due to its invasion of Belgium. During the war, both sides engaged in trench warfare and attempted to encircle the other side. Soon, from the North Sea to the Swiss border, the two sides extended their trench lines, resulting in a stalemate on both sides.
第一次世界大戰是指從1914年7月28日到1918年11月11日,始於歐洲進而波及至其他地區的大戰。1914年8月3日,英國因為德國入侵比利時而對其宣戰,作戰期間雙方軍隊都試圖以包圍對方側翼的戰略來進行殲滅,很快地,從北海到瑞士邊境的土地上,雙方各自延伸其戰壕系統,陷入苦戰。
4. invasion of... ...的侵略
5. result in a stalemate 導致陷入僵局
6. trench warfare 塹壕戰
★★★★★★★★★★★★
At the end of 1914, the first Christmas of the war, a "Christmas Open Letter" signed by 101 British women activists and sent to "German and Austrian women" called for peace. On December 7, 1914, Pope Benedict XV also called on the governments of the warring countries to consider a formal truce agreement. However, they sternly rejected these calls for peace.
1914年末,大戰期間的第一個聖誕節到來,一封由101位英國婦女參政運動者署名並寄給「德國與奧地利婦女」的「聖誕節公開信」呼籲和平,教宗本篤十五世亦在1914年12月7日,向正在交戰中的各國政府呼籲簽訂正式的休戰協定。然而,各國官方嚴正回絕這些對和平的呼喚與渴望。
7. an open letter 一封公開信
8. call for peace 呼籲和平
9. a truce agreement 停戰協議
10. warring countries 交戰的國家
11. sternly reject 嚴厲拒絕
★★★★★★★★★★★★
While there was no formal truce on both sides, about 100,000 Germans and British troops spontaneously ceased fire along the Western Front. The first truce began on Christmas Eve on December 24, 1914, when the Germans began to decorate their trenches in the Ypres region of Belgium.
儘管雙方沒有正式的休戰,仍然有大約10萬名的德軍和英軍自發性地沿著西線陸續中止了戰事。第一個休戰案例始於1914年12月24日的平安夜,當時德軍在比利時伊佩爾地區開始裝飾起他們的戰壕周遭。
12. formal truce 正式休戰
13. spontaneously ceased fire 自發地停火
★★★★★★★★★★★★
These German soldiers first adorned their trenches with candles and Christmas trees and then sang Christmas carols. British soldiers followed with carols of their own, and both sides began shouting Christmas greetings. Soon, the soldiers began to communicate in no-man's land, and exchanged small gifts such as food, cigarettes, and wine, as well as buttons and hats as souvenirs. On that night, both sides enjoyed a long-lost peace. During the truce, the two sides also brought back the bodies of their fallen comrades from the front lines and buried them. In addition, the pastors of the two sides jointly held a joint service.
這些德國士兵先是在他們的戰壕與聖誕樹上擺上了蠟燭,並唱起聖誕頌歌來慶祝;英國士兵則以英文聖誕頌歌做為回禮,接著兩邊開始互相對彼此喊出聖誕節祝福。很快地,雙方開始在無人地帶交流,士兵們互相交換起食物、香菸和酒等小禮物,還有像是鈕扣與帽子等作為紀念品。在那一夜,戰區享受了久違的平和。而這次休戰期間,雙方也各自將陣亡的同袍帶回戰線後方集體埋葬。此外,雙方的牧師更共同舉行了聯合禮拜。
14. exchange gifts 交換禮物
15. long-lost peace 久違的和平
16. fallen comrades 陣亡同袍
17. front lines 前線
18. hold a joint service 舉行聯合禮拜儀式
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Sir Heras Smith-Dorren, the commander of the British Second Army, was furious upon learning about these unofficial truces. An order strictly forbidding any communication between the British and enemy soldiers was issued. In the next few years of the war, the artillery shellers were explicitly ordered to ensure that the fighting would not be interrupted again on Christmas Eve. The soldiers were reassigned to different fronts so that they would not fraternize with the enemy. Despite such orders, there was still deliberate suppression of fighting on various fronts. Soldiers, for example, would fire artillery at a fixed time to minimize casualties.
英國第二軍團指揮官赫拉斯·史密斯-多倫爵士在得知這些非官方的休戰行為後相當生氣,發布命令嚴格禁止英軍與敵方士兵有任何交流。大戰接下來的幾年內,砲隊砲擊手受命在平安夜仍要確保戰鬥不會再次中斷。軍隊也被輪流調防到前線各地的不同防區,以免他們與敵人過於熟悉。儘管上層如此命令,但各地還是有故意抑制戰鬥的狀況,像是雙方火砲在固定的時間打到固定的地點上,以免對方發生傷亡。
19. upon learning... 一得知...
20. strictly forbid 嚴禁
21. issue an order 發出命令
22. explicitly order to 明確地命令
23. fraternize with the enemy 與敵人友好相處
24. deliberate suppression of... 故意鎮壓...
25. fire artillery 發射火砲
26. minimize casualty 減少傷亡
★★★★★★★★★★★★
On the Christmas Eve of 1915, a football from the German front became a symbol of peace. Bertie Felstead, a private of the Royal Welch Fusiliers, recalled the historic moment. At Christmas, he recalled, soldiers of both sides spontaneously climbed out of their trenches at dawn, ceased hostilities, and partook in friendly exchanges. "It wasn't a game as such, more a kick-around and a free-for-all. There could have been 50 on each side for all I know. I played because I really liked football. I don't know how long it lasted, probably half an hour," he recalled.
而在1915年的平安夜裡,一顆來自德軍戰線的足球,成了和平的象徵。英國皇家威爾斯燧發槍團的二等兵柏堤·費爾斯特德(Bertie Felstead)在聖誕節唱了一夜的聖誕歌之後,回想起那時雙方士兵在黎明時自發地爬出各自戰壕,那高漲起來的友好氣氛:「這件事本身來說,與其說是場足球賽,更像是人人都可參加的到處踢球活動,就我所知那時每一邊都可能有約有50人加入活動。由於我個人很喜歡足球,於是我也參加了。我不清楚那場足球賽持續了多久,可能有一個半小時吧。」
27. a symbol of peace 和平的象徵
28. cease hostilities 停止戰鬥/戰爭行為
29. historic moment 歷史性時刻
30. partake in friendly exchange 參與友好交流
Complete story: https://youtu.be/WUlPNWDvk-c
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Sources:
Alleyne, R. (2001, July 26). Veteran of 1915 soccer game dies. Retrieved August 6, 2019, from https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1335265/Veteran-of-1915-soccer-game-dies.html
Condell, Diana (2001-08-03). "Obituary: Bertie Felstead". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077.
Dearden, L. (2014, December 27). Letter describing the Christmas truce of 1914 released for the first time. Retrieved August 6, 2019, from https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/christmas-truce-of-1914-letter-from-trenches-shows-football-match-through-soldiers-eyes-9942929.html
Miracles brighten Christmas - HarrisonDaily.com: Opinion. (2013, January 03). Retrieved August 6, 2019, from https://archive.fo/20130103032619/http:/www.harrisondailytimes.com/articles/2009/12/25/opinion/editorials/doc4b32bc259368c715520590.txt
Patterson, David S. The search for negotiated peace: women's activism and citizen diplomacy in World War I. Routledge, 2008. ISBN 0-415-96142-4 p. 52
Woodcock, J. (2013, November 17). England v Germany: When rivals staged beautiful game on the Somme. Retrieved August 6, 2019, from https://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/10455611/England-v-Germany-when-rivals-staged-beautiful-game-on-the-Somme.html
how to kick soccer 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳解答
你的命,不能討價還價
NO BARGAIN ON YOUR DESTINY
Questions from various readers/clients.
Q1: Is your Bazi consultation fee negotiable?
Me: It is not negotiable.
Q2: If I see Bazi for me, my child and my spouse, can you give me a discount?
Me: I do not offer package deals.
Q3: I am keen in your Bazi and Feng Shui services. But I can't afford to do both at the same time. Do you think you can give me a better rate?
Me: Get one service at a time. Don't take on more than what you can. You can look for me again when you are ready.
.........
I do not apologise for my services having a fixed fee.
Because there is nothing to be sorry about.
The time and effort I put into every Bazi or Feng Shui audit is equivalent.
Whether we are friends/relatives in real life or strangers on Facebook.
There is no economies of scale for consultations.
It's not like if I read the Bazi of your whole family, I earn more with less effort.
The more people I help transform their destinies, the more negative karma I have to take over and the more merits I have to shave off from myself to give to the clients.
All of which I still have to engage in Buddhist cultivation practices to eradicate the negative karma I shouldered and restore my merits to a healthy level.
Or I would end up with a lot of problems for myself and my family.
My Shifu impressed this upon me.
That we should not allow people to bargain with a geomancer who has the ability and willingness to help.
This is not like buying broccoli at the wet market, where you haggle freely with the vegetable seller.
"Aiyah, I am buying 3kg of broccoli instead of the usual 1kg. Give me a discount! I am your regular! I also want some free chilli! What? You can't give me? That seller in the next row is so much more generous than you! His veggies are also much fresher!"
If you want to use such tactics on me, go away. I don't sell myself out for clients.
If you are indeed my regular client, for all the value I have bestowed upon you and your family, way beyond the angpow you gave me, your conscience should know better than to take advantage of me.
If you view your destiny at the same value as a stalk of green broccoli, go work on your mindset first before seeking a geomancer's help.
Your life is precious. The practitioner who can help you turn your life around is just as precious.
The knowledge and experience I have gained as a practitioner came at a very high price.
A price I dare say you will not be willing to pay.
Time that I could have spent with family and friends, I spent it all on learning Chinese Metaphysics and the Dharma.
There are close friends, friends that I grew up with, whom I have never met in 10 years.
There are travels that I never went with my Husband.
Do I regret? No. Time is always against us. Tomorrow may never come. I don't have a long and healthy lifespan and I want to see what I can make out of it.
To be very strong in our chosen field requires dedication. Even more so when my profession evokes mixed feelings in people.
Should one day my friends and family run into trouble, lending them a shoulder to cry on may relieve them somewhat.
Being able to solve their problems would be even better. And I have already done it with my abilities more than what I can count with my fingers and toes.
I am a realist. This is what I have chosen.
I also have an innate obligation to be fair to all my past clients.
The client who flew in from Malaysia on a one-day trip just to get his Bazi read by me. He earns in Ringgit, pays me in Sing dollars.
The young man in his early twenties who had to find out his birth details secretly, so that he could get his Bazi read by me.
The young woman who married her first love but landed up in an unhappy marriage, because she listened to the wrong advice from another practitioner. She saved for almost 4 months before approaching me.
The father who worked as a property agent but accumulated a 6-figure debt because of all the courses he took up and an elder brother who cheated him of his rightful commissions. I was the 7th or 8th practitioner he approached because none solved his problems previously.
The self-employed young man whose girlfriend hopes to get married but is very insecure about his volatile finances.
The middle-aged woman who did not know what to do with her life, after her company closed down.
The workshop participant who couldn't pay my workshop fee in one shot. She asked to stagger her payment. Transferred me one portion and paid in full at my workshop.
And the single Mother of two teenagers who chalks up a 5-figure debt with the banks. She got her Bazi read by me after attending my workshops and became one of my biggest success stories. Her physical transformation was amazing.
A few months later, she sought my help to read the Bazi of her two daughters. One was having her O-Levels. She wanted to know the best way to help her beloved daughter. At the same time, she was puzzled why her daughter was always adamant about having her around the home when she studied. Shouldn't a teenager at 16 years old be more independent in studying? Not like my client could help in anyway.
My answer ignited light bulbs in her and I gave her further solutions to help her child ace the examinations. I guided her to the junior collages best suited for her child.
Did her daughter ace the O-Levels?
You bet. The client thanked me in person after her daughter got the results.
Was it all due to my help?
No. She was already strong in her academics. I helped to make the studying process easier and happier for both the Mother and the child.
Never once did all these clients and more bargained with me for a cheaper price.
Some of them are repeat clients and workshop participants.
Maybe they thought of it but never verbalise their thoughts.
Or they really believe in the value I can give them.
My point is...
How can I let them down by giving you a cheaper price, just because you dare to ask?
How would I be fair to them, for the struggles and obstacles they surmount in wanting to transform their fates?
Perhaps you may try to wriggle your way further by saying,
"I promise you I won't tell anyone. It's just between you and me."
Don't be dumb.
The Heavens will know. The Earth will know. My Dharma Protectors will know. My powerful Shifu will know.
No one escapes from karma.
Even if I have the David Copperfield magic to escape, I will not do it.
That moment my clients choose to put their destinies in my hand, it becomes more precious than what money can buy. My motherly instinct will kick in and I will wish to protect their trust in me.
No matter what they may think of me after the consultation.
Another food for your thought...
If I can give you a discounted rate, how will you know I am not giving another person an even cheaper rate because of whatever reason?
Are you sure a practitioner of yoyo fees and values is someone you can fully believe in?
A layman like you, how can you tell that this practitioner will not stinge in giving you suggestions and solutions, since he/she is charging you a cheaper rate?
When you have the ability to pay, don't ask for discounts, especially for something as treasured as your own destiny. Don't behave like a miser. Have a pretty heart.
If you don't have the ability yet, save up first. Don't bite off more than what you can chew.
I charge almost $400 to read a Bazi for about 1.5 hours.
GASP! How expensive!
Yes, go look for a cheaper alternative.
According to my clients, they have never met a practitioner who is as thorough and detailed as me in reading their Bazi.
(Unless they find my Shifu. 😄 )
Not all practitioners are the same. Don't measure us only by our fees.
Another thing.
If you have paid so much for my consultation, yet still do NOTHING to change your destiny for the better, then don't look for me again.
You may be better off donating the money to a charity instead.
It's not what you know that matters.
It's what you do with what you know that matters.
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯
命運不能討價還價,而且我有責任對所有的客人,過去及現在的,一律公平。
如果我不是一個公平的師父,那你也不宜找我,因為你也不知道我會不會給別人更便宜,間接騙了你。
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯
That night when I asked to take a wefie with the Husband.
The lighting from a huge signboard in front of me was amazing. #selfie101
I was in a $90 new Zara jumpsuit and flamingo pink tassel earrings that cost me $30.
I heart the colours so very much.
Yet the only thing that got his undivided attention was Liverpool's match results that night. #cannotseelatermeh #woesofaFengShuipractitioner
Shhh... don't tell him. But I guess I need to step up my Feng Shui war against his teenage obsession for his favourite soccer team.
😏🤔
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how to kick soccer 在 sidekickzer Youtube 的最佳貼文
#shorts Amazing knuckle volleyball สุดยอดการยิงลูกบอลส่ายๆ
#sidekickzer
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how to kick soccer 在 HOW TO KICK A SOCCER BALL with POWER - YouTube 的推薦與評價
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how to kick soccer 在 How to kick a soccer ball: 3 Ways To Kick The Ball - YouTube 的推薦與評價
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