Since Vday just passed, thought i’d dedicate today’s Monday post to L-O-V-E! ♥️🥰♥️
I wrote this in my notes last week after seeing so many beautiful declarations of love. ♥️✨ They were so sweet and just made me think about what love is to me now. Growing up, I remember hearing many “love is patient, love is kind”’s. And that shaped a lot of my ideas around love. I think what’s nice is that as I’ve grown older, is that I keep learning new things like, healthy relationships, boundaries, especially for when in an unbalanced and unsafe relationship (both platonic and romantic) and they all bring new layers to what I was taught. So, I thought I’d share my interpretation of it now.
Ps. There are many cases of abuse in which the perpetrators use those phrases to manipulate the victims into believing that “being patient and kind” means accepting the repeated abuse, eg. “patiently” waiting for them to change, “kindly” believing the best in the other person, even when the pattern of behaviour is clear, or sometimes even the systems they are in convince them that that’s what it means. 💔 Or that asking to be treated with dignity, as a human being is being “proud”?! 😢 (Also, usually, in these relationships, if you did to them what they did to you, they would flip the fuck out eg. “How dare you disrespect me??” So... They KNOW what respect is. They just think they’re deserving it but you aren’t.) And I really hope we stop buying into that crap, clearly manipulative interpretation.
Healthy relationships, whether platonic, familial or romantic, should never, ever require you to abandon yourself. And if you are in this situation now, I hope you know that this is absolutely NOT the “best you deserve”, because they’ve somehow made you believe that you are worthless or something, no, that’s just what they want you to believe. Respect and decency are the baaasics. And you definitely did nothing to deserve any form of abuse. That was their choice. ♥️
Sending you guys lots of love, have a great week ahead!! ✨
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