各位朋友,晚安:
「就因為我存在,就因為我選擇認定我自己是好的,所以我很好,我有價值,我還不錯。」
有朋友對於《讓自己快樂》這本書中,描寫到自我接納的這一句,覺得困難。我想分享薩提爾女士的詩,也許有些幫助。
這是薩提爾女士寫給一位憤怒的15歲女孩,表現出一種自我悅納的精神,能欣賞自己的獨特。
祝願您,成為自己的太陽,不必憑藉誰的光!
*********************************
我是我自己(自我宣言)
【文/ Virginia Satir】
在這世界上,沒有一個人完全的像我。有些人有某部份像我,但沒有一個人完全像我。因此,我身上所有的一切都是真實的我自己,因為是我自己選擇的。
我擁有我的一切: 我的身體,和它所做的事情;我的心智,和它所想所思;我的眼睛,和它所看到的影像;我的感受,不論是憤怒、喜悅、挫折、愛、失望、興奮;我的嘴,和它所說的話,不論是禮貌、甜蜜或粗魯的,正確或不正確的;我的聲音,大聲或小聲的;和我所有的行動,不管是對別人或對自己的。
我擁有我的幻想、夢想、希望和害怕。
我擁有我所有的勝利和成功,也擁有所有的失敗和錯誤。
因為我擁有全部的我,因此我能對自己更認識、更親近。也因此,我能愛自己並友善的對待我的每一部份。於是,我就能夠為自己的最大利益而全力以赴。我知道某些關於我的部份使我困惑,有些我做的事我也不了解。但是只要我能友善的、充滿愛的對待自己,我就會充滿勇氣和希望去尋求方法來解決困惑,並找到途徑更加發現自己。
任何時刻無論我所看到、聽到、所說、所做、所想、或所感覺的,那都是我。是真實的我,也代表那時刻的我。
當我回顧過去我所看到、聽到、所說、所做、所想、或所感覺的,有些可能並不合時宜。我能去除那些不合適我的,並且再創造新的部分來補足。我能看、聽、感覺、思考、說和做。我有方法使自己生存、親近別人、有生產力、能為自己由外在的人事物找到意義和次序。
我擁有我自己,因此我能駕馭自己。
我是我自己,而且我是好的。
***
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.
Therefore, everything that comes out of me
is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me
my body including everything it does;
my mind including all its thoughts and ideas;
my eyes including the images of all they behold;
my feelings whatever they may be...
anger,
joy,
frustration,
love,
disappointment,
excitement
my mouth and all the words that come out of it
polite,
sweet or rough,
correct or incorrect;
my voice loud or soft.
And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes,
all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,
And invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am okay.
.
ps.
「我是好的」這一句,「好的」跟英文的「OK」,意義有些不同,英文的「OK」,有時更接近接納的狀態。
「engineer」翻成「駕馭」,在意義上也有些差異。也許「驅動」,會比較接近?
.
以上部分文字取自
讓自己快樂
https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010853844
大牌出版‧出版大牌
https://www.facebook.com/streamer2009/
.
已額滿_7/16-17免費台北市教師研習_非暴力溝通_如何讀懂愛的語言
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相信自己是夠好的媽媽:是犧牲,還是責任?是妥協,還是平衡?放下對母愛的執著,恢復你的生命彈性,重新找回愛自己的方式
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behold三態 在 玳瑚師父 Master Dai Hu Facebook 的最讚貼文
【玳瑚師父客人見證】《賜我家橫財的神醫師父》
The Healer Master Who Brought A Windfall To My Family
(English version below)
文 / 蔡曜駿 先生 Written by Mr Chua Yao Jun
我在兩三年前就從幾位同事那兒偶而聽聞玳瑚師父的本事與「業績」。他們各自請了玳瑚師父看了長達五年和八年的居家風水。當時我對風水處於觀望態度,直到購入了人生第一所房子,才有了請玳瑚師父勘查風水的想法。第一次致電給玳瑚師父的對話,至今仍記憶猶新。在電話那頭,玳瑚師父問了我的中文姓名與八字後,便立即點出了我從兒時就有的過敏問題,讓我深感佩服。
之前有幸能夠參加玳瑚師父主辦的茶會,學習有關電飯鍋和水壺的奧秘。玳瑚師父指點了一些在家中的小細節,居然也有旺宅,改善人際關係與增進家庭和諧的作用。
母親曾抱怨過半年多沒中過任何彩券。之後,母親依照玳瑚師父的教導,居然不可思議的在幾周後,連續中了兩次萬字票和一次多多,總共贏得$210。
玳瑚師父除了對玄學與佛法有深入的研究,玳瑚師父也有如一名神醫。
玳瑚師父在替我看八字的時候,道出了我不應該喝茶,而更應該喝咖啡。當時我便告知玳瑚師父,其實我對咖啡過敏,早晨十點的一杯咖啡,能讓我的心臟到凌晨兩點還依然亢奮。早年試過好幾次都有一樣的反應,所以那麼多年來我都不敢碰咖啡。玳瑚師父聽了後,便說可以嘗試喝黑咖啡加少許的糖,就不會有心跳加速的問題。
隔天早上,我赫然點了咖啡,驚訝的是之前的症狀竟然沒有發生,而且喝了咖啡後,人明顯的比喝茶更精神。
還有一次,玳瑚師父聽到我咳嗽咳得厲害,便建議我在中午和晚上時段,各吃一粒雪梨並能改善此病症。
結果我只吃了一天的雪梨,隔天喉嚨已舒暢許多,咳嗽也明顯的減少了。我讚嘆玳瑚師父比我還了解我自己的身體狀況。
感恩玳瑚師父在百忙之中,仍抽出寶貴的時間教導我們向善與向上。
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯
I have been hearing about the abilities and results of Master Dai Hu from my colleagues since 2 to 3 years ago. They have been engaging Master for their home Feng Shui audits for the past 5 and 8 years respectively.
At the beginning, I was sitting on the fence when it comes to Feng Shui. The thought of engaging Master Dai Hu for Feng Shui audit came to me, when I got my first house.
I still remembered clearly my first phone call to him. Master Dai Hu asked me for my Chinese name and birth date details, and immediately pointed out a hypersensitive condition I suffered since young. I was very impressed.
I was privileged to attend one of his Tea Sessions, where I learnt the secrets of using the rice cooker and electric water boiler in Feng Shui deployment.
Master Dai Hu imparted some microscopic details, that can bring about prosperity, improved interpersonal relations and harmony to the family.
My mum implemented the advice from Master Dai Hu, and two weeks later, struck the lottery. Not once but thrice (twice with 4D, once with Toto), consecutively, winning a total prize money of $210! It was incredible. Before this, she was complaining that her lottery luck had deserted her for the past 6 months.
Beside his in-depth knowledge in Chinese Metaphysics and the Dharma, Master Dai Hu is like an accomplished healer too.
From my Bazi, he advised that I should refrain from drinking tea, but take coffee instead. I told him about my sensitivity to coffee. I once drank a cup at 10am in the morning, only to leave me with hyper heartbeat all the way till 2am the next day! I had attempted this several times the past years and the end reaction was the same. Thus, I stayed away from coffee the last many years.
Master Dai Hu then advised me to drink coffee without milk and with less sugar to negate the effect of faster heartbeat. I tried his advice with coffee the next morning and lo and behold, I did not experience the symptoms I got previously, and I felt more energised compared to drinking my usual tea!
On another occasion, Master Dai Hu noticed that I was coughing quite badly, and advised me to eat one golden pear at noon and at night. After taking the fruits for a day, my cough subsided and my throat felt so much better! I really salute Master Dai Hu. He knows my body conditions better than I do!
Thank you, Master Dai Hu, for offering your precious time to teach us the way to kindness and betterment.
www.masterdaihu.com/賜我家橫財的神醫師父/
behold三態 在 堅離地城:沈旭暉國際生活台 Simon's Glos World Facebook 的精選貼文
[平行時空352] 特朗普會催生美國第三黨嗎?
美國總統大選的共和黨初選由於有了富商特朗普的加入,忽然成了全國、乃至全球關注的真人騷。特朗普以玩票姿態,出人意表地在黨內民調遙遙領先,言論越是政治不正確、民望越是高企,已成為近年美國政壇最詭異的現象。這究竟象徵了民粹主義的興起、精英主義的沒落,還是美國民主制度的根本問題,還有待不同專家解讀。此刻比較貼身的是,究竟他會否真的勝出共和黨初選?
一般主流評論自然相信,美國民眾對特朗普言論的好奇,只會集中於初選階段,當他真的有可能勝出,美國人的理性就會回來。何況特朗普富可敵國,閱女無數,根本不會真的願意做總統這苦活,假如他意識到有真正當選的「危機」,自然也會臨陣退縮,以免假戲真做。但還有一個可能性,就是「特朗普現象」會長期在每個政壇存在,這卻是任何主流政客都不大懂應付的。
此刻關於特朗普的陰謀論不絕於耳,雖然傷害不到他的支持度,卻反映了美國傳統精英的憂慮。《Foreign Policy》早前引述佛羅里達州共和黨人Carlos Curbelo,指特朗普與前美國總統克林頓夫婦非常熟諗,又支持克林頓基金,甚至曾替希拉利助選,令特朗普在共和黨出選的動機變得可疑。《National Review》刊登了一篇文章:《Is Trump a Double Agent for the Left?》,質疑外表保守的特朗普,實際上是「左翼雙重間諜」,因為他參選至今的客觀效果,就是加強了中間選民對共和黨極端思想的恐懼。
其實,特朗普雖然「敢言」,但過去的政治路線並不清晰。正如他自己霸氣地承認,他資助過大量不同陣營、不同立場的政客,他這次的對手們,幾乎沒有一個沒有收過他的捐獻。他在1999年前算是共和黨人,但曾在1999-2001年加入曾獨立參選總統的富商佩洛特創立的「改革黨」(Reform Party),自稱曾成為其總統候選人(只是主動退選);然後他又加入民主黨九年,到2009年奧巴馬上台後才離開;之後返回共和黨,自此更積極鋪路選總統。這樣的履歷,很難說他對任何一個政黨、一個主張有忠誠度。
對美國右翼人士而言,特朗普不少主張並不夠右,例如他在醫療改革方面的見解就不保守。早在2000年,特朗普便已主張全民醫療,這至少在修辭上與民主黨的奧巴馬相當一致。清談節目主持人Glenn Beck曾因而說,特朗普是「進步」而非「保守」人士。
難怪在共和黨初選辯論時,特朗普是唯一一名拒絕承諾「支持最終獲勝的共和黨候選人」的人,暗示他就算不能出線,也可能像1992、96年的佩羅特那樣,以獨立身份競選,乃至再搞一個第三政黨出來。佩羅特在1992年異軍突起,在民調一度領先最終當選的克林頓和現任總統老布殊,坊間一度期望他帶來的衝擊,能改變美國兩大黨壟斷的格局。
這次「特朗普風暴」似乎不是短期現象,反映選民對這些年來政治正確的堅持、傳統政客的因循已不耐煩,只是沒有代言人。假如他能催生這樣一個平台,對美國的長遠影響,可能遠大於誰當選總統。畢竟「無論選了誰,還是那幫人再台上」的現象深入民心,「change」確是很多人的期望,而奧巴馬似乎也「change」不了太多。至於特朗普是否真正帶來「change」的人,就難說了。
小詞典:佩羅特(Ross Perot)
美國德州富商,估計身家約35億美元,在1992年以獨立人士身份參選美國總統,得到全國18.9%、19,741,065張選票,成為1912年以來得票最多的獨立候選人,而選舉期間,他曾以39%支持度領先選情。選後他創立「改革黨」,吸納兩黨邊緣份子,並以改革黨名義再參選1996年選舉,但這次聲勢不及上回,也不獲參加全國辯論,最終只得到8.4%選票。此後淡出政壇,改革黨也已泡沫化。
參考資料:
- David Francis, “Behold the Vast Trump-Clinton Conspiracy Theory”, Foreign Policy, 22 July 2015
- John Fund, “Trump a Double Agent for the Left?” National Review, 21 June 2015
沈旭暉 信報財經新聞 2015年8月19日
延伸閱讀:特朗普參選有何好處?
https://www.facebook.com/…/a.100577713612…/1001339469900203/