CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OF
Social media makes us feel like shit at times and somehow others always seem to have their shit together. Don't you at least for once wonder where your life's strayed away from the norms presented to you through people's picture perfect lives? It's toxic but you can't look away and feel your pride has taken multiple hits afterwards.
Growing up I had this issue of self-worth haunting me night and day. Don't get me wrong I am still consciously struggling to love myself even now. But things are looking better. Cuz I never stop trying despite the constant thought I am rubbish. You may find it ridiculous how I am so agitated by the thought of inconveniencing others with my dumb questions. I should research and come up with answers to them myself or just shut up altogether and be tormented by my own stupidity. It is no less of an extreme case. My personality, that is.
One time my friend and I got lost in the middle of nowhere in the rural Southern Vietnam. But the greatest me would still rather bury my face in Google Maps to figure out our exit than chase the rare sight of a local passing by on the roadside. I could have had us real bad but I still did not relent. Perhaps I would be the weak one to be weeded out in troubled times.
Sometimes I can't help fantasizing about a parallel universe where timid, shy, reserved would be erased without a trace in my mental dictionary. I could amass nonsensical confidence without a slightest idea what strength I possess. I could hustle my way to the top in a finger snap. Isn't that how the Kardashian did it? Admiration max level! That's a different kind of talent unbeknownst to rigid people like me.
One's often advised to hang around the rich or smart to become rich or smart, respectively. But a skeptical me would ask, why would those people with social power resort to hanging with us? It's every man for himself in this cruel world. Don't they wanna seek more influential people to hang with as well? Why bother with the bottom of the pyramid?
But I still want to be worthy of such relationships. I want to bring something to the table so that it's a two-way street. I might not have the wits but I could become interesting in my own way and humor them with my stories. It's not sustainable to be the only one receiving and absorbing knowledge. At least that's my two cents.
I guess my point is I am getting better at asking for help as I feel like the current me could return part of the favor. And that little piece of confidence came from the fruit of my efforts to continuously find my niche and upgrade myself. Only you can save yourself. With cues and nudges from the universe, you will get to where you belong eventually. So does my low self-esteem really matter if it pushes me to strive for new heights? I might never know.
Never settle. Keep dreaming.
Love,
P.S. my selfie game is weak.
parallel universe stories 在 7 Unexplained Parallel Universe Stories - YouTube 的推薦與評價
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